How long should we take to rid our hearts of hurt?

This discussion has been inspired by a friend who was hurt in love. You know the symptoms:

1. ripped appart

2.denial.

3.Anger

4.get even

5. I wonder if he thinks of me

6.I would like to see what he is doing now

...and it goes on and around sometimes for years.

I know this opening looks flippant and nothing to do with the real and damaging hurts we see on the Reservations or in our own Communities around this home-world . I am making two points here that are relevant though. How long should we hold on to pain, grief, resentment and anger the burden of which we carry.  I have watched the effect of guided instruction via the book, Dreaming Down Heaven, by Gini Gentry. I have not read it myself yet, but I am assured that she uses Toltec wisdom and uses a very direct approach. The effect is to move people through the  pain, guilt or other negative feelings that cause them to be ineffectual.

You are healers, Women and Mothers. There is a lot of wisdom in you. Our challenge is to build children, schools, and heal our families and communities. How do we Get out of our own hang ups to free ourselves to free them. Gini referrers to the internal Judge. Do you understand this concept? Does it strike a memory that gives you anger or pain? What can you bring into this discussion that may help our people?

With Respect for all,

Gillie