Elephant on my shoulders

Replies to This Discussion

Permalink Reply by Carol Petersen on July 2, 2012 at 3:39pm

While most dread to talk about the elephant in the room I have him riding on my shoulders.  Last night I dreamed about a baby elephant. I asked if he wanted to ride on me.  I backed up to him and he scooted his butt onto my shoulders with his rear legs sticking out and his front ones positioned around my head.  But that was not the only part of the dream.  I was being corralled into a room with others unbeknownst of the human exterminators soon to take over the people.  Alerted, I escaped but not without seeing chopped up body parts in a blood soaked street.  I was in a car with another woman and the driver was one of them.  He knew his time was running out and he headed for a cliff far above the ocean.  I found a way to unlock the car and rolled out of it just in time.  I defied gravity and floated towards a building finding the stairwell the best way to go towards hiding. It was difficult every opening seemed to be a booby trap.  I woke up.

 

My body is attacking itself.  I've prayed to her to please stop.  I don't know if I can find the cure within myself.  All I know is that I have been facing my mortality. It seems I am fighting not to die rather than embracing the life that still flows through me.  I am all over the place, upstairs, in the elevator, heading for the cliff and seeing the fragments of others caught in a battle, the will to live.  Isn't the dream just another reality?  I don't want to be fighting to live in my dreams if that means I have to fight when I am awake and vice versa. 

 

Yesterday we went to visit with Huston Smith.  He showed signs of leaving. He said. "At 94 I feel fatigued but I will live through the year."  He told my husband of all the people he has met in his life I am the most intensely expansive with vibrancy. Then with a deliberate slowing of words smiled and said to Anand, "You have a handful."  I know I am a living tapestry of warp and woof.  A renowned religious scholar, he sits with Tibetan wall hangings called tankas of the Goddess of Compassion on two walls of his living room.  I told him about a ceremony performed at Tashi Jong, Northern India.  I told him I had taken vows with this lineage in the 70's then the 80's.  Starr Cross sent me the message from her home in Iquitos, Peru.  I found it extremely important for the world feminine suffering in all of life is desperate for a healing shift.  It was an answer to my own bodily suffering.  In fact I have not known a world that is not suffering since waking to consciousness as a child.  This ceremony which I just posted as a blog is for those who believe.  Believe in others who walk the walk willing to do what must be done in order to avert catastrophe.  

 

Where are we headed as a human species? Are we lost or are we fighting to cling to the earth via our bodies?  I am being downloaded at night with information that puts wind in my sail but I still can't handle the ropes.

   

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Huston_Smith

 

Be in love,

Carol

Permalink Reply by Carol Petersen on July 2, 2012 at 3:40pm

Comment by amy rigg

That sounds like a totally scary dream Carol.  I gave up trying to figure any of the long term stuff out - I'm just gona hang out and watch & see what happens just living my little beady life in northwest tennessee ? If Universe wants me to know something, I'm sure the information will be put in front of me.

i love you all ~ i wish you good great luck 'n' love 'n' peace

Permalink Reply by Carol Petersen on July 2, 2012 at 3:41pm

 by amy rigg

also, Carol, when i feel like shit, in pain, or whatever I say inside my head (or out loud) "physician heal thyself" - like I am a physician and I should just go ahead and heal myself.  I feel some real funky stuff on a daily basis that seems like it could be AIDS, plague, cancer, death, emphysema, diabets, tumors, rampant maladies ~ but I "physician heal thyself" myself and so far I'm still living ? i wish health health health to you Carol, i love you

Permalink Reply by Carol Petersen on July 2, 2012 at 3:42pm

Comment by Carol Petersen1 hour ago

Oh Amy, "physician heal thyself"

Your a doll!  I laughed at what you wrote.  I just love my southern sisters they have a gritty down home perspective.  As for the elephant on my shoulders, the Hindu elephant deity Ganesh, is the removal of all obstacles.  Obviously I have help.  Thanks for the tip.  I just now said it with some grit bearing authority. 

hugs

Carol

Permalink Reply by Carol Petersen on July 2, 2012 at 3:43pm

Comment by amy rigg1 hour ago

YAY LAUGHTER !!!  That is sweet.  I'm so grateful y'all let me hang out ~ i'm not orthodox hardly ever, and you're very accommodating of my ... foreign-ness ?  mitakuye oyasin ?

you're gona make it Carol - elephant does seem to be a very good harbinger now that you mention it - elephants are very very cool and smart with big BIG memory ? very good guide i'd think. xoxoxoxoxo

Permalink Reply by Carol Petersen on July 2, 2012 at 3:48pm

Dearest Amy,

I decided to put this as a discussion. It is a joy for me that your method works for you, however what I can and notice not in compliance to my wishes or meditation that the strife of illness has just taken me deeper. 

Your wisdom is profound.

Blessings

Carol   

Permalink Reply by White-Bear on July 2, 2012 at 5:55pm

Thank you for your words Carol, they are like a warm summer shower followed by a cool aftenoon breeze.

I am always in prayer with the human beings. We have a long road ahead of us and we must be prepared for the multitude of paths that we will walk upon.

We should try to become humane beings. We will have a better chance.

May you walk in beauty

White-Bear

Apache Elder

Permalink Reply by phyllis anne bala on July 5, 2012 at 12:40am

Dearest Carol, Medicine Blanket Brothers & Sisters,

This story was inspired by our conversation today Carol. Big hugs & love sent your way!

An enormous Hump Back whale with a 2 month old baby swimming beside her, invited me to listen to her message one day, years ago.  As I shared her home in the waters off the shores of Molokai'i, Hawaii, she brought me one of the most startling lessons and healing I've ever had the honor of receiving.

She fairly sung this message in a celestial sounding and very feminine voice, of the true meaning of healing. Healing is simply allowing oneself "to be beauty full, both inside and out." She then extended an invitation for me to go under the water to watch what she was about to demonstrate. So following her instructions, I watched as she gently moved her enormous fins in a movement known in the world of synchronized swimming, as 'skulling'. It is a graceful motion of keeping the arms & hands fully extended by your sides, while moving the water forward and backwards in a slow, figure 8 motion. It is also a movement I make while doing 'sacred dance' when White Eagle Woman/Isis moves through my body, with Her long, white, powerful and feathered wings spiritually extend deep into Earth, elegantly moving the spirit energy of our Great Mother to open, gently connecting the Heavens to the Earth for our reciprocal healing.

Mother whale wanted me to have the experience of seeing that she was able to relate to the sacred dance I am moved to create while in deep communion with Earth & Sky. I was stunned by how her slow, intentional movements also felt like an honoring of my spirit. She then indicated that she wanted to create a very special way for me to play with her. I felt confused, because for 3 days prior to our sacred meeting, she was only able to swim in circles, which gave the impression to the locals that she might have been stuck and unable to swim away.

They had sent for me to see if I could possibly help her & the baby. It was feared they would both be attacked by Tiger sharks and killed in her helplessness. I answered the call, riding by boat to the east end of the island, asking those on board to focus on opening their hearts to let her know we would be arriving to help. The divers went to see if she could be caught on something, they returned not knowing what might be amiss, describing her body as curved into a semi-circle. She had positioned herself between her baby and the men.

As I did the ceremony while standing on deck, I prayed for my greatgrand father's medicine spirit to come help. Pedro was a seer & bonesetter from the island of Guam, who came to Mexico on a Japanese whaling ship during the 1800's. There he met my greatgrand mother Tomasa, a mid-wife, and curandera, who helped people get well with herbs and food combining. I prayed for my 'Wella to be with us.

Mother whale was a long way from our little boat, but as I raised my pipe stem in prayer, directing it toward her body, her huge tail rose up out of the water, arching high over her body toward her head, almost touching her fluke to her skull. It was shocking to watch as all of her energy gathered in one swelling movement up and forward. I thought she was about to roll completely over, head first, when all of a sudden, her energy flew backwards, forcefully yanking her tail straight back, with a monumental slap to the water, that facilitated the realignment of her vertebrae & skull bones. Her body was completely straightened.

It was my impression that she had been hit squarely in the center of her skull by a ship in the dark of night.

Two of the women on board and I swam out to her. As we cautiously approached I invited the women to ask 20 thousand generations of her ancestors to open their hearts to who they are and to who she is. The ocean seemed to transform into what felt to me like an angelic body of crystaline light. I had no physical sense that I was in the ocean. It was a holy body of pure light. She ushered her baby towards us, in a show of absolute trust and gratitude. Her way of showing reciprocity was to swim circles around me now that she felt better, emphasizing the necessity to play and celebrate as we heal. Confused by her invitation to engage me in the happiest feeling ever, doing the one thing I love the very most in life--swimming butterfly in really rough water--I preferred to remain saddened by her acquired injury, compounded by the fact she had a 2 month old baby to care for. She continued to patiently keep her heart open, acknowledging that she understood my feelings.  I could feel the powerful and healing spirit of her beautiful internal smile and the enormity of love she held in her heart for me. It was clear to both of us that by maintaining my feeling of sadness for her, I was choosing to to decline her invitation for me to accept my own healing, which was certain denial of my own expression of beauty.  I found myself continuing to observe my conflicted feelings of sadness for her and wanting to withhold my sense of play due to her mishap and possibility of deep injuries. Slowly though, I began to move and kick, breathing my spirit open.

It is always sheer delight to feel the ecstasy of swimming like whales often do, powering straight up and out of the ocean deep, to momentarily fly freely airborne, returning with a crashing force into the supportive watery abyss in the belly of Grandmother Ocean. It is for me and my clan, an intrinsic expression of joy unbound! How, I asked myself, could I possibly resist?

She slowly began to circle around me again,  and I could still feel the openness of her invitation to join her. I remained in place for a while, kicking harder, skulling, watching in awe as she continued, gaining both strength and speed. Her playfulness was irresistible, and plunging forward into an intense upward lift with the help of my ocean fins, moving like a whale myself, I catapulted head-on into the wakes she created, flying out the other side. We swam like this until the feeling of beauty came back to life within my own being.

I hear her spiritually elegant invitation is forever present, and something they both have extended to all Peoples throughout these sacred waters of Home.

Won't you please join us in exuberant play, blessing these precious waters of dear, dear life, calling forth your spiritual beauty from within, growing in resonance to their very special invitation?

I am resting assured that the spirits of plants, animals, elements and ancestors--All Our Relations and the Heart of Creation waits patiently for you too, holding a beautiful sacred space for your own ability and time of choosing, maybe kicking, perhaps feeling the depth of the waters you tread, to finally burst through into the mysteries and magic life holds to bear witness your own unique beauty and gifts, unbound, intact and growing.

In peace & good health,

Phyllis

Carol Petersen said:

While most dread to talk about the elephant in the room I have him riding on my shoulders.  Last night I dreamed about a baby elephant. I asked if he wanted to ride on me.  I backed up to him and he scooted his butt onto my shoulders with his rear legs sticking out and his front ones positioned around my head.  But that was not the only part of the dream.  I was being corralled into a room with others unbeknownst of the human exterminators soon to take over the people.  Alerted, I escaped but not without seeing chopped up body parts in a blood soaked street.  I was in a car with another woman and the driver was one of them.  He knew his time was running out and he headed for a cliff far above the ocean.  I found a way to unlock the car and rolled out of it just in time.  I defied gravity and floated towards a building finding the stairwell the best way to go towards hiding. It was difficult every opening seemed to be a booby trap.  I woke up.

 

My body is attacking itself.  I've prayed to her to please stop.  I don't know if I can find the cure within myself.  All I know is that I have been facing my mortality. It seems I am fighting not to die rather than embracing the life that still flows through me.  I am all over the place, upstairs, in the elevator, heading for the cliff and seeing the fragments of others caught in a battle, the will to live.  Isn't the dream just another reality?  I don't want to be fighting to live in my dreams if that means I have to fight when I am awake and vice versa. 

 

Yesterday we went to visit with Huston Smith.  He showed signs of leaving. He said. "At 94 I feel fatigued but I will live through the year."  He told my husband of all the people he has met in his life I am the most intensely expansive with vibrancy. Then with a deliberate slowing of words smiled and said to Anand, "You have a handful."  I know I am a living tapestry of warp and woof.  A renowned religious scholar, he sits with Tibetan wall hangings called tankas of the Goddess of Compassion on two walls of his living room.  I told him about a ceremony performed at Tashi Jong, Northern India.  I told him I had taken vows with this lineage in the 70's then the 80's.  Starr Cross sent me the message from her home in Iquitos, Peru.  I found it extremely important for the world feminine suffering in all of life is desperate for a healing shift.  It was an answer to my own bodily suffering.  In fact I have not known a world that is not suffering since waking to consciousness as a child.  This ceremony which I just posted as a blog is for those who believe.  Believe in others who walk the walk willing to do what must be done in order to avert catastrophe.  

 

Where are we headed as a human species? Are we lost or are we fighting to cling to the earth via our bodies?  I am being downloaded at night with information that puts wind in my sail but I still can't handle the ropes.

   

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Huston_Smith

 

Be in love,

Carol

Permalink Reply by Carol Petersen on July 11, 2012 at 1:03pm

I haven't talked to Anya for over 10 years.  I lost her email and changes do erase time.  I found her on Facebook.  In fact, lots of folks I know have pages with friends into the 1000's.  I visually walk with them through their photos.  Afterwards I feel a Facebook remorse.  I wonder why am I not on their pages.  How did I isolate for solitude and anonymity?  Instead I dove deep.  I wandered the desert landscape for seven years savoring the wild fragrances that would burst from a rare rain. I sang to the moon and followed the white road in the heavens, sending heart songs to star clusters.  I lost my identity while millions were establishing theirs.

 

I decided to embrace the promptings of reaching out to Anya.  I called her. She was so happy to hear from me. She just now rang up and said two other acquaintances have contacted her within our week of speaking.  I was one of three whom she has not spoken with over a decade. Isn't it strange that the thought which had prompted me was greater than me?  I wish those whom I had known in my past would reach out, for the sudden burst of our connection will never fade from my consciousness, just to feel connected. 

 

Then we talked about suicide. We talked about this reality.  Because we are so amassed there is a greater loneliness the individual is feeling.  It is not just your loneliness it is everyone else's who just do not know how to reach out to connect. Just like me, I am feeling it all.  But like me when I am feeling the cry of humanity, her suffering within, I know not to be overwhelmed by this wave we are all riding.  I hang with my soul and cleanse the mirror of my heart, learning to be real in the moment and not spiritually up level. 

 

Just as my spirit is sense connected to the flowering water earth, I must not loose my sense of connection to our human relatives.  The suffering of my body helps me to feel for the suffering of those who are taking their life as I write.  Suffering prays me and I am learning to give praise in return.

 

Be in love,

Carol

Permalink Reply by Carol Petersen on July 12, 2012 at 7:47pm

The Heart is a Mirror

 

The Heart is a Mirror and life's experiences polish it clean. You are not to judge the process nor any one else's process. You are not the judge of your self, your choices, conscious, aware or not.

You are just beginning to remember your life's purpose and how your decisions tie into the web of life.  Every single person on the Earth is connected to how you feel.  Feeling is a catalyst for movement.

 

While I was living in the desert, I made a subtle shift from me to we.  There is no way I could predict or attach to an outcome from the we source, as the expansion of myself felt unlimited.  My personal story was dissolving into greater connectivity.  I received communication from non-human sources and different dimensions.  I kept quiet and observed, holding to the feeling instead of exploiting my sensitivities in order to market this process.

 

I had little to say and much to feel. It felt excruciatingly painful to deliver an opinion, always this opinion crashed against my heart.  I have not forgotten about the dreaded big one, known since childhood that has been scripted to those living along the earth quaking fault line of California.  The alarm has gone off exponentially since some of us found a way to make money off them.  They have at its core an entanglement of all the religions, myth worships and new age propaganda which are anchored in fear delivered to the earth.  Learn to ascend now by staying in your heart, how to do this etc....for a weekend price of $333.

 

Opinions are rampant. They are formed out of wanting to belong to the consensus, eco-suicide, the psychologist-shaman-Reverend degree, the 2012 end of the third dimensional reality, the anti-Illuminati one world order movement and their mysterious hand signal, and of course the E.T. rescue.  I am convinced the we of me have been making up the worst scenario driven by our collective feelings and the fix for it. Prepare to fear more. Who does not enjoy a thrilling ride, one with ups and downs, catastrophic endings with heroines, heroes and villains? I am one of the best story-tellers. I can remember when I made up my illness and I can remember that in doing so I contributed to yours. I have convinced myself that I forgot I made this one to help me wake up. 

 

Something is happening to us. I know there are others, the meek and humble, who have left the babble to sit against a tree to observe where attention followed. They don't swallow everything. There, scattered by the wayside, are the opinionated encrustations of heavy-laden hearts.  Am I waking up? Who is cracking through the thin veneer of the other? I wouldn't change the way you feel for any price in the world.  Feelings are where angels cannot enter.  They depend on our amperage to integrate the world's miraculous heart. And we are doing this! There is shining innocence and a restored vision in favor of tending to the intuitive flowering heart of the individual. I'd rather stick to this story, one that has me praising in the heat of a summer night the wonderment and the wonder of it all.  What do you think, feel? I know there is a movement stirring.  Are you watching your change from the inside out? Love will be known again as an unconditional familiar mirror.

 

Be in love,

Carol

Permalink Reply by Carol Petersen on July 16, 2012 at 2:13pm

Multi dimensional traveler

I met my husband at a www.starknowledgeconference.com .  He said he saw both sets of grandparents on a mothership waving down to him extremely happy that he found me. After I let him play my medicine rattles and drums he was convinced that I was his soul mate.  Of cource I mostly rolled my eyes but to his delight I married him.  He is an initiated Paramahansa, a Babaji beyond all religious designations.  For some reason the outfits he wore seems normal.  But let me tell you thin pieces of fabric tied to the shoulders are not what you would see a man wearing in the streets of the usa.  He is so transcendental that I have to hold on to his legs to keep him from floating away.  I suppose this is why I have the keen scent of a wolf and the heart of a bear to know that realities are folding inward. I live this way.

 I have longed for a world to belong to but I got a galaxy instead.

Be in love,

Carol