Remembering, thinking, learning, and laundry

I'm still trying to figure out how to navigate through this FWII website blog world - forgive me my spasticity.  I've thought & thought of this blog since I woke up, & as more time passed and the morning goes by, more and more stuff happens and I think of more things.  I wondered how to concentrate it all into a summary ... but it's all so random.  Saturday mornings are always variable, there is no work for me on weekends so I'm free to do as I please.  Today, obviously, i feel good and am bopping around doing any of the endless chores around the house and yard as I come across them.  got dressed, started a pot of coffee, Made the bed, went outside & smoked a ciggie & greeted outside & said my morning 'prayer,' let the ancient grandpa dog out & back in, entered the financial info into the new ledger i got and played with it for awhile (didn't take long, we have teensy small finances ha ha), put some dishes away, started some laundry & made a batch of 3% hydrogen peroxide (i use it for cleaning), walked to the corner w/my partner and the big yellow dog, threw some stale oatmeal peanutbutter cookies on the wood shed roof for the squirrels, filled the wild bird feeders, fed the chickens some of the black sunflower bird seed & also the smashed up chicken egg shells, went next door and got a slab of meat out of the deep freeze so i can roast it later w/some taters, carrots, & onion, checked my email, & now here i am.  Several snow dots fell from the sky - but it's just barely a tease, i want it to pour snow xoxoxo.

I remembered the recent Nat Geo article about native americans on pine ridge i think.  Our li'l house here reminds me of some of the housing i saw in that magazine.  It is totally different, of course, i'm not in gov't built housing on a reservation, but i am in a li'l shack in the forest that was totally (& I mean TOTALLY) trashed when we bought it.  It still is a li'l shack in the forest - but it's been repaired so it's safe and snuggy and dry and warm and even though it'll never be brand-spanking new clean - we have scrubbed the hell up outta the years and years of grime, so at least it is clean grime - & now we've lived here for going on 4 years so our grime is now on top of the ancient grime ha ha.  My partner had to do ALL the work to fix this place up enough to make it livable, but we are poor so we only did the basic-est basics - that's what reminds me of this place here and the places I saw in the pictures in nat geo.  Poor people and their housing.  I love this place.  It is ugly, dirty, nasty, and can be dangerous - but it is shelter, I don't owe any price to a mortgage company (although there are those fun yearly taxes - it's cheap only about $150 yearly), it's home now, and I love it.  Many many people I know would never deign to live in such a place - but i love it.  It's right smack in forest, there's still neighbors around within walking distance - but also Tennessee river goes by 1/4 mile east of here, which we can walk to down the path through Forest.  I moved here on purpose cuz I guess I needed quiet and i wanted a spiritual teacher & the only teacher I think i'm allowed right now is Nature - 

Moving here was super cheap, it's not fancy, but the schooling I get every time i step outside just by staring and listening to nature is priceless.  Earth, fire, water, and air - all right here and teaching me.  I try to focus my attention on what they are presenting to my senses.  I may not get any concrete thought-out structured lesson, but i always try to at least absorb it and feel it.  Maybe the unstructured lesson IS the lesson - and 'tis true that it's better to just go with the flow rather than fight it.

I just read president jimmy carter's book An Hour Before Sunup published in 2001.  As an aside, I thought he was the best prez we ever had, and he is still right on.  But I learned his mama did a peace corp stint in India when she was SEVENTY YEARS OLD !!!  Way to go grandma carter ♥♥♥  I'm only 50, i could do that too.  except I don't have a car.  I know that in order to save and help heal the world I have to do my best where I am at - which is home.  and i have to be loving and kind where I am at, which is home, so I try to do nice things to these 2 guys i live with (my 51 yr old partner and my 13 year old son).  I can't clean the gulf of mexico, i can't stop the radiation leaks at fukushima, i can't undo all the oil drilling in north dakota and all over the world - BUT I can clean up my yard, just a little bit at a time, I don't have to move the whole dump that built up over 35 years in one afternoon, but I can pick up some of the endless trash strewn across this acre and get it one step closer to the recycle bin.  And once I get a car, I could volunteer time (if i ever get any extra) at a local old folks home or the hospital.  start local.  and think universal ... i love to daydream that I am bigger than Earth, floating in space next to her, and I can hold her and hug her and kiss her ♥♥♥ 

OK - I'm gona try and be more faithful to this blog.  I wonder where this is gona go, cuz I clicked "create a new page" and I'd never done that before.  I love all y'all & thank you for letting me vent.  With peace and love of course.  "talk" to ya soon